Marlette's Musings

Customer Service

2009-05-19T09:34:00.001-07:00

I was on my morning walk the other day, my iPod playing one of Rick Atchley's sermons, enjoying the cool air.

I passed some landscapers cleaning up the empty lots in a new housing development going up. They both had leaf blowers, and were working toward each other from opposite ends of the development.

As I neared them, each stopped what they were doing, turned their blowers to idle, and waited for me to pass.

I thought this was:
1. Respectful; and
2. Unusual.

Seriously, who acts like this anymore? Every day I dodge piles of dog poo the owner neglected to pick up; trash dumped by the side of the road, and cars flying by like there's a fire somewhere.

I respect those landscapers. They work at what society might call one of the "lowly" occupations. They perform manual labor in all kinds of weather. But they showed me great courtesy.

Am I doing the same? Or am I flying by people at full speed, throwing my trash everywhere, and neglecting to scoop up the poo?

Facebook

2009-04-25T01:25:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in nearly a month. Almost exactly the amount of time I've been on Facebook. Coincidence? Hmmm . . .

Honestly, my daily routine is bordering on the ridiculous - online devotional; personal email; work email; Twitter; Facebook; Craigslist; gtalk. The blog has fallen to the bottom of the pile, unfortunately. And "real" letters? Pshaw!

I haven't completely given in to the electronic media - I do love to hold a real book in my hand (no Kindle for me!) and read a print newspaper. My evening Bible reading is from a book, not a screen. And the quickest way to my heart is a handwritten card.

I kind of miss the less-cluttered times, before computers and cell phones. Handwritten letters and operator-assisted long distance calls are not that far in the past.

But I admit it has been lots of fun reconnecting with people from 6 or 8 moves ago; engaging in a way I thought impossible. It's a blast to see your pictures, hear about your lives, know that you're out there and you're going through real stuff just like me.

Some days it's tempting to lock the doors, board up the windows, and spend all my time in electronic relationships, though.

Once in awhile you just need to talk face to face, look up and feel the sun on your face, pick up the phone or maybe even a pen.

If you read this and we're not already FB friends - you can find me there. Or call me sometime.

Chin

2009-03-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

I don't like my chin.

Maybe it's because I had an orthodontist tell me that if my chin were pushed back a little, and if my nose were a bit shorter, I would be attractive (fun words to hear when you're 15) . . . Maybe it's just because.

It's a strong chin, to be sure. Strong chins are good, right? After all, you hear "Take it on the chin" and "Chin up." There's also the fun "not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin (but enough about menopause!)."

My abhorrence of all things chinny has led to a bit of a family joke. We are in the process of seeing how many ways I can hide it when the cameras come out.

Someday maybe I'll embark on a Joan Rivers-like facial transformation - lose the chin; bob the nose; freeze the face in a surprised expression. Until then, I guess I'll have to keep my chin up.

26 Delicious Years!

2009-03-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

March 26, 1983.

I said "I do." He said "I will."

And we have. For better or worse; in sickness and in health; for richer and for poorer . . .

What a treasure the last 26 years have been. I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams how much I could love someone, and be loved in return.

Here are 26 things I love about Steve:

1. He has a great laugh.
2. He is always pleasant, even if you wake him up in the middle of the night.
3. He is smart.
4. He loves to help people - with broken cars, moves, lawn work, etc.
5. He is generous with his money, time, and possessions.
6. He cooks with Alton Brown's recipes.
7. He has rubbed my feet almost every night for the last 26 years.
8. He still opens doors for me.
9. When we're going somewhere in the rain, he always drops me off at the door before he parks.
10. He loves to do projects with the kids - especially Hope's science projects.
11. He can fix anything.
12. He can build anything.
13. He makes me feel beautiful.
14. He write beautiful cards.
15. He sings to me over the phone.
16. He brings me Diet Pepsi at work.
17. He likes to go on long drives as much as I do.
18. He watches American Idol and even figure skating with me.
19. He treats his daughters with the dignity they deserve.
20. He teaches his son how to be a man.
21. He isn't vain.
22. He is kind to everyone, with no regard for status.
23. He is the same every day, rock solid and even.
24. He's smoking hot!
25. He is truly good.
26. He loves God.

Am I the most blessed woman in the world? Or the smartest?

Happy Anniversary, Steve - I can't wait to see what the next season brings.

Saturday

2009-03-07T14:17:00.000-08:00

I really love Saturdays.

This hasn't always been true. I was a stay-at-home mom for 19 years. When the weekend arrived, I wanted to do something different, fun, AWAY FROM HOME.

But Steve - having worked a 60- or 80-hour week - needed to rest, catch up on yard work, wash the cars. Then Sundays were filled with church activities, and before I could catch my breath - Monday again!

We are in a completely new season now. I work full-time, Tuesday-Saturday. On Saturdays, I work at 4, we worship together at 5, then I finish my shift until about 10.

So, Saturday mornings have become MY catch-up-on-home-chores time. Today I am doing laundry, paying bills, and making a grocery list. I hauled a post-holiday turkey carcass out of the deep freeze and am filling the house with the smell of delicious soup.

Steve is working out of our home now, so we spend more time together than ever. He even packs my lunch for me most days! And since he is able to engage with Paden like never before, Paden is more stable than he's ever been.

So Saturdays I take Paden to work with me so Steve can have some refreshment - a few hours of quiet to watch basketball, nap, breathe. We all worship together Saturday evenings - a perfect time, especially for a restless teen and a night-owl mom; a period at the end of our scattered, high-speed weeks.

Then SUNDAY comes. And we revel in our Sundays. Lazy mornings reading the paper; snuggle time with the kids; unrushed meals together. It has become our "Sabbath" - that time that I always longed for.

Thank you, Lord, for seasons. For family. For rest.

Starting . . . again

2009-03-03T23:55:00.000-08:00

I started walking again yesterday. Nothing monumental, just a slow "drag my out-of-shape body" jaunt with Steve.

I was doing SO well. Worked out faithfully for nearly a whole year; felt amazing!

Then - knee issues; back issues (compensating for the knee issues); illness; and finally, inertia.

How many do-overs do I get? I may be nearing my limit! I want to "get it" in so many areas of my life, to be that person - disciplined in speech and habit, organized, on top of it all.

In Lamentations it says that God's mercies are new every morning. I want some new mercies:

Alarm-clock mercies so I don't hit the snooze button tomorrow.
Shin-splint mercies.
Optimism mercies.
Forget-the-past and Just do it! mercies.

Tomorrow will be day 3 of this latest new beginning. Let's hope this one sticks.

In heaven, reading and taking bubble baths will be fat-burning, metabolism-boosting activities.

What a Week!

2009-02-27T19:14:00.000-08:00

Don't faint! I'm blogging again. I'm going to try to keep up. My perfectionism gets in my way. I can't blog unless I have the perfect topic; I can't blog until I have some good pictures to put up; I can't blog unless life settles down so I have something positive to say . . .

Phooey on that!

This week:

Christye got in a car accident - that makes 3 accidents in 6 months for our 2 girls; 3 accidents that were their fault!

We found out that Paden has asthma. Poor guy - 3 new prescriptions for a total of 6 meds for him.

Hope did not get a full-tuition scholarship she tried for at Whitworth University - 3 students out of 100 got it.

A bunch of staff, who are like family, are leaving Living Hope to start a new church - 8 so far; maybe more.

Those are the ugly numbers. I've wrestled with God a lot in the last two years, but especially this week. Yesterday was the worst - I came home sobbing and went straight upstairs, took a sleeping bill and crashed. All night I dreamt about surrender; and the verse in Philippians that I always paraphrase "Worry about nothing; pray about everything" kept swirling through those dreams.

I awoke today determined to surrender it all, to not worry, to be thankful (the other part of that passage that is SO hard - how can I be thankful for financial trouble, car accidents, illnesses?)

So here is the "silver lining" of the week:

Christye's accident resulted in 0 injuries

Hope left 1 voicemail yesterday telling me what an amazing mom I am and how thankful she is for me. Oh, and then she ran a blood drive in which more than 70 units of blood were given.

Paden is so happy that he ran in PE today without being light-headed. And he only puffed 2 times.

Steve came to work today with lunch and took me to a park where we sat at a picnic table in the sun - in February! The sun was out for EXACTLY the time it took us to have our lunch, then the clouds closed back over.

Now I'm home in a quiet house - Steve's at a basketball game; Paden's playing guitar at a friend's house; Hope's serving at a homeless shelter. And amazingly, I feel peace. Go figure.

I'll blog occasionally; I promise. Feedback welcome - topic ideas? good/bad numbers in your life? jokes? complaints? I'll take 'em all!

I'm Dreaming . . .

2008-12-24T09:53:00.000-08:00

We are having the most unusual winter here - we've had close to a foot and a half of snow and I will be having my first white Christmas ever! I'm looking out my front window now on a white-blanketed, iced-over, Christmas-card-worthy scene - and the snow is still coming down!

Since I work for a church, my schedule is normally hectic until after Christmas - we have a production with many performances, and a slew of Christmas Eve services, and it's exhausting and wonderful and a strain to juggle that and family plans.

Our Estes Christmas has to be compressed into a short 10 days this year, because Christye arrived home from Oxford on December 15 and we could NOT start Christmas without her. So, the tree shopping, baking, decorating, driving to see lights, music-listening (okay, we started that one without her - there's a LOT of music to hear), movie-viewing, turkey-eating, game-playing fun was this year to be sandwiched in between my first-ever fulltime employed holiday church schedule. I was feeling stressed and a little left out, even though I've been arriving home to dinner cooked and laundry washed (heaven) and a happy family. Steve finished a job in November and starts another in January, so he is taking good care of everything - I am blessed, but still . . .

Then the most wonderful thing occurred - snow; lots of it! Then ice, coating the 8 inches of snow with an inch of slick glory; then more snow - so if you walk on it, you plunge through soft powder, crunch through ice, and sink into more powder up to your knees.

Since our church parking lot could be a hockey rink even after plowing; and since people live in hills even more snowbound than we are down in the valley; all services are cancelled!

I will miss our Christmas Eve candlelight service - it's always a beautiful reminder of what's really important this season, and marks the beginning of the real celebration. But I'm HOME! Home by the fire; snuggling the kids; listening to the 397 Christmas songs on my ipod (well, almost all of them - I'm finding myself skipping Harry Connick, Jr. this year); trying not to eat too many cookies; watching every movie Netflix could ship to us in time.

Money is tight this year, so we've spent very little (except for extra groceries - you wouldn't believe how much milk we go through when Paden's home all day!). We're at the end of another difficult year career-wise; health-wise; autism-wise. I look around and see many projects to be completed and areas for improvement in myself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Maybe that's what is so sweet about the snow - even a pile of weeds turns into a brilliant postcard. Snow quiets, beautifies, purifies. It reflects moonlight so even at night the landscape is dazzling. It slows you down - walking or driving in it, or staying out of it. It huddles you in a bubble, warm and cozy with your little family.

I think this biggest-in-58-years snowfall has been the balm this family needed. It doesn't solve our job situations or heal our bodies. But it is a gift - of time, of laughter, of reflection.

Thanks, God! As always, you know exactly what we needed - and gave lavishly.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T11:36:00.000-08:00

This is Rockwell's iconic picture of Thanksgiving. Smiling, perfectly dressed people; beautifully set table; bounteous feast.

Is your day today going to look like that?

Or is yours going to resemble a holiday comedy/disaster movie, National Lampoon-style?

Whatever it looks like at your house - generations of smiling kin; china, linens, Martha Stewart-inspired centerpieces and placecards; food fit for a magazine cover; OR

A ragtag bunch of "holiday orphans," a hodgepodge of stemware, plastic sippy cups and jelly jars; a slightly dry turkey served with store-bought pie topped with Cool Whip; OR

some shape in between -

I hope you take time to be thankful; grateful for what REALLY matters. Focus not on the appearance of things, but the heart.

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (The Message)

We were reminded of this passage by a very wise elder at our staff meeting yesterday. Thank you, John Buskirk, for refocusing our hearts; reminding us that God is in control of ALL circumstances; that we are told (in present imperative tense - so it's not a suggestion) to be thankful all the time.

Today I am thankful for:

Laughing in bed with my family while watching the Macy's Parade.

Webcams - so we can chat with and see Christye across the thousands of miles.

2 days off work, with nothing to do but enjoy each other.

Steve's ever-cheerful willingness to roll up his sleeves and do whatever; so I came home from work last night to a clean house, clean laundry, turkey brining, and dinner in the oven.

A warm home on a cool day.

Oh yes - the FOOD! It won't be Rockwellian, or Stewart-like; but it will be Estes family favorites, seasoned with tradition and laughter. And I have to say my mashed potatoes are divine!

Happy Thanksgiving to your Family!

"Way-Back Machine"

2008-11-17T19:49:00.000-08:00

Steve suggested the title of this post. Direct all comments to sgt.estes@comcast.net.

We are in a tough season right now. I have spent a lot of time in prayer; hours searching God's word for comfort and answers. We've talked about things - endlessly to Steve, I imagine, since I process everything verbally and he doesn't.

I admit I've also spent a fair amount of time looking back to simpler, more peaceful times.

I vowed when my children were little to live so that I wouldn't experience a lot of regret when they were grown. By and large, I don't wish them small again (though I do think grandchildren would be fun . . .). And most of the time, I wouldn't trade my 40s for any other decade.

However, if I HAD to choose another time to revisit, it would be 1983. Steve and I married that March and were blissfully, perfectly, disgustingly happy.

We had absolutely nothing. Part-time jobs, hand-me-down furniture, an apartment in the . . . interesting part of town.

But we had everything - new and exciting love; free time; a great church; friends and family nearby; an unblemished future.

There were no complications - no debt; illness; career pressures; age-related issues; loss. We hadn't moved 10 times, gained weight, gone gray, raised a special child.

So it was simple; and ecstatic. I would go back there - briefly - if I could. But just briefly, because after all these years, moves, gray hair, etc., we are still blissfully, perfectly and disgustingly happy. Just ask our kids . . .

Mostly I know I'm meant to be here and now. Still, sometimes I pray to get through to the next week or hour - or 5 minutes. Or I long for some nebulous future time when things will be smoother, less uncertain.

I know two things I would definitely change if I could. There are a lot of meals I wouldn't eat; and a lot of words I wouldn't say. Sigh.

And I can't wait for Jesus to come!

What about you? If you had your own way-back machine, where would it take you? What moment in time would you recapture if you could? What would you do or not do or do less or do more?

I'd love to hear what you're thinking.

President Obama

2008-11-05T11:10:00.000-08:00

I read a great blog today, written by Michael Hyatt, President and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers.

I follow him on Twitter - are you on Twitter yet? That's another whole post!

You can read Michael's entire post here:

http://www.michaelhyatt.com/fromwhereisit/2008/11/my-four-commitm.html#more

Michael makes these four commitments to President-elect Obama:

I will pray for him and our country.
I will assume his motives are good, giving him the benefit of the doubt.
I will not speak ill of him, even if I don’t always agree with him.
I will cast off the spirit of cynicism and be a positive force for good.

I like this!

I voted for John McCain, and was disappointed (but not surprised) at the results last night. But I also heard an 82-year-old woman, whose grandmother was a slave, weeping in awe as she talked about voting for the first black president.

I am hopeful; hopeful because God is in control (see Romans 13:1). Hopeful because this is a great country. Hopeful because now more than ever, we have a chance to show Jesus' love, compassion, and grace to a fearful, stressed-out, anxious world.

I am personally experiencing one of the most difficult periods of my life. It is so easy to get bogged down, worried, angry, cynical. But I receive little gifts - reminders - of the One who loves me every day: prayers of a friend; a small victory for Paden; a smile from Steve (which can still make my knees weak!); seeing Christye's lovely face on web-cam all the way across the world; watching Hope unselfishly comfort a friend through a terrible loss.

So, even though I don't agree with Barack Obama on much, I will be hopeful; and like, Michael Hyatt, I will choose to take the high road.

Thanks, Michael! And President-elect Obama, God bless you as you lead this great nation.

Autumn Color

2008-10-31T09:54:00.000-07:00

Fall is my favorite season! I love walking, driving, or biking in our area, reveling in the color.

The rain started today. This is typically what happens - rains come; leaves go. But I have thoroughly enjoyed the transformation the past few weeks.

We are blessed in the Pacific Northwest to live surrounded by green year-round. But I am always thrilled when I get my first glimpse of gold, orange, or red. There is a rainbow everywhere right now:

RED - I see candy-apple burning bushes; walls robed in crimson ivy; and spectacular ruby maples.

YELLOW - every imaginable variation on this hue, from the pale gold to butterscotch to burnt sienna (remember the crayon you never used?). I wish I knew all the names of these trees . . . I'm told there are poplars, elms, oaks, and cottonwoods.

Some of my favorite trees are the ones that look like a Tequila Sunrise - or those popsicles you ate as a child that graduated from red to orange to yellow.

I love driving down the street toward Christye's high school - on one side it's lined with breathtaking golden-leaved trees that look like they are plugged in somewhere. On the other side are the cherry-red ones. As I drove down that road last week in the fog, those colors were my beacon guiding me to work.

I enjoy observing how the colors change - some go seemingly overnight, while others gradually fade. Occasionally I'll see a tree that is golden on one side and still dark green on the other - split personality, perhaps? Or a sage-leaved beauty nearby that looks decorated in pumpkin frosting. The maple in my backyard has leaves that are now rimmed in red - turning from the outside-in.

Then inevitably the leaves start to fall. Again, there are different patterns. Some trees gently sigh, a few leaves at a time drifting softly to the ground. Others decide to just shake it all off at once. One of my favorites is a huge yellow maple that loses foliage from the top until it looks like a balding old man with only a fringe around his ears.

While I always feel a bittersweet poignancy when the trees start to bare, there are still the sidewalks carpeted in multi-hued glory; then - if the rain doesn't wash them away - the joy of crunching down the road, kicking up clouds of coffee-colored leaf bits.

And when it's all said and done, when the branches are completely stark and the winter grey has fully settled into our bones, we still have the evergreens . . .

Smells

2008-10-09T17:27:00.000-07:00

I was taking a hot bath the other night, trying to ease the aches of a cold. I used Hope's strawberry-scented conditioner and my mood perked up instantly!

Don't you love how scents can magically transport you to a place, time, or person? Every once in awhile I'll catch just a whiff of something and be flooded with memories.

I love how God created such variety in this world. He could have made everything brown or gray; silent or monotone; tasteless; unscented. Yet he delighted in making a wild profusion of sight, sound, smell.

Here are some of my favorite smell-memories:

Flex conditioner - reminds me of my high school best-friend Mel
Vaseline herbal lotion - an amazing trip to San Diego with friends the summer of 1977
White Linen perfume - mom
Baby Magic baby lotion - bathtime with my children
Fresh water, pine trees, mossy rocks - trips to Oak Creek Canyon as a child
New box of crayons - 1st days of school, mine and my kids'
Sawdust - Steve!

These are just scents I love:

Fresh-cut Christmas tree
Campfire
The heads of newborn babies
New jar of peanut butter
Starbucks!
Thanksgiving turkey in the oven
Summer rain
Fresh-baked bread
The jasmine outside my front window

There are so many more. Too bad I can't smell anything right now with this cold . . .

What are your smell memories? I'd love to share them with you!

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

2008-10-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

Today is my parents' 49th anniversary. Wow. You made it, guys!

My parents, Perry and Barbara, were 21 and 18 when they got married. Dad left college, losing his full-ride ROTC scholarship in the process, came home and with less than a week's notice they were wed.

Mom and dad dated from the end of her freshman year of high school. Their relationship survived break-ups, separation, and the disapproval of his mother.

They started in a tiny place in Phoenix, where both had moved from back East in 1948. I arrived 13 months later; Matt 15 months after that; Marta followed 6 years later, in 1968.

We all left Phoenix for Escondido, California in 1974; Las Vegas in 1976; back to Escondido in 1979.

Dad "retired" in 1993 at age 55. They relocated to Missouri for several years, then Eastern Washington - dad working various jobs all along the way; the man can't be still!

Finally they closed the circle and returned to Phoenix - Maricopa, actually. They live in a beautiful house in a gorgeous "over 55" community. Dad still works - he's a limo driver; mom swims, paints, decorates, bakes, plays cards, and spends time with Matt's children (he moved back there before mom and dad; they are hoping Marta and I will follow, but we're well-established in the cooler, greener Pacific Northwest!).

Mom and dad have been through so much together - loss of parents, raising 3 children, witnessing the birth of 7 grandchildren. They've worked through health issues, money issues, family issues, career issues . . .

There have been rocky times, to be sure. But there have been some things that have been constant my entire life:

They love to sit outside and talk. My earliest memories involve hearing their soft conversations in the evenings after I'd gone to bed.

They love music, and play it 24/7. Every home video we have is underscored with a WIDE variety of music - everything from Elvis to big band; Bette Midler to Yanni. Their music collection is legendary and well-loved.

Their faith carries them. There have been disagreements within churches, struggles finding a new place to fit at times; but the thread of dedication to serving and determination to be faithful is always there. All of their children carry this flag and are passing it to the grandchildren.

They like each other. Even in the roughest times they had this unshakeable bond. They are a great example of perseverance, of working things through, of getting through the fire to the sweet spot of a long-historied romance.

My only question is - what are we going to do to celebrate their 50th? Ideas? Anyone???

Getting Older

2008-10-04T00:22:00.000-07:00

Today . . . well, yesterday now, I guess, since it's 12:22 a.m. . . . my dad turned 70. Happy Birthday, dad! You wear it well.

Amazing how my parents keep getting younger as I get older. I keep telling them someday I'm going to be older than they are - we'll just wave to each other on the way up and down. :)

I remember when my dad turned 32 vividly. I was nearly 10 at the time and he seemed so together, so sure of everything, so mature.

Funny, when I was 32, I didn't feel any of those things! Still don't and I'm "pushing 50," as my mom said from about age 43 on.

I'm thankful for my parents' good health. They are vibrant, active, and living well. I pray it's genetic!

I'm feeling old this week. Had my first MRI. Found out I have "moderately severe (isn't that an oxymoron?) thinning of the femoral and patellar cartilage." I think that translates roughly to "your knee is wearing out!"

I have to admit I had myself a pity party last night. Don't ever go to webmd.com! It is WAY TOO MUCH information. And I tend to, as Steve calls it, "horribalize" things.

So, after envisioning myself with a brace, a cane, a walker, knee replacement; after crying in disappointment with myself for carrying too much weight for too many years . . . I got a grip and went to sleep!

Now we'll just wait patiently (or not) for the next doctor. Maybe I'll have to swim and bike instead of walk and elliptical (is elliptical a verb?). I will surely have to re-commit to weight loss - ugh. I plan to stay calm, pray, and focus on the positive. Promise, Steve; I'm through horribalizing!

As I've said before, I CAN'T WAIT for a new body! I'm thankful for this old one; don't get me wrong. Maybe I need to learn to take better care of it before God entrusts me with a heavenly, eternal one?

Yikes!

2008-09-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

Why does the time between posts stretch longer and longer?
Life is so BUSY. Never slows down, only gets busier. I've been telling my parents on the phone that we are "busier than ever" for at least 10 years . . .

I've had a new position at work for 2 weeks. I love it, but it's pretty demanding. I am in more meetings than I ever thought possible - 5 on Wednesdays alone! I come home really tired, but in a good mood - amazing how being in the right place makes such a difference.

Steve is on the tail end of the huge remodel - he's working 6 and 7 days a week, 14 hours a day.

Hope started college classes and is juggling that and high school, clubs, leadership, teaching at church, and a giant social life. Tomorrow she has senior pictures!

Paden turned 16 last Sunday. We had a small celebration every day for a week leading up to the 21st (to ease his pre-birthday anxiety, which is like a 3-year-old waiting for Santa . . . times 100!); and we're having the big party tomorrow. Bowling - and GIRLS are coming! So he has the new shirt, new hair, and we busted out the "cool" glasses. Help me . . .

If you read between the lines of the above paragraphs, you might find a couple of things:

1. My house is . . . there are no words. I was doing Pilates this morning on the living room floor, happened to turn my head toward the sofa, and was horrified at the dust bunnies reproducing under there! Laundry is knee-deep; I don't even want to think about closets and drawers.

2. My kids are growing up too quickly. Hope leaves the nest next year; Christye's a globe-trotter already. I'm so thankful we relished the moments over the years.

3. I am a blessed woman. I have a husband who works hard for us without complaint; a job I love, working for a man I respect; 3 children who are saved, loving, healthy and happy; a home to live in, dust bunnies and all, and the peace only found in Christ.

If I could just get the hang of blogging more often . . .

Old Friends

2008-09-18T20:06:00.000-07:00

I got a call on Sunday from one of my oldest and dearest friends, Janet.

Janet and I met our freshman year at Abilene Christian University. It was a God-designed meeting - we sat together in our seat-by-last-name, 550-member freshman Bible class (she was Dampier; I was Daniel).

We connected immediately. We could finish each other's sentences, seemingly read each other's minds. We even looked a bit alike - people asked us if we were twins. We'd laugh and say "Yes, we were separated at birth; Janet ended up in Florida and I in California!"

We had the same taste in men - I think we dated at least 4 of the same guys, including her wonderful husband, Doug.

We shared a car for a few weeks sophomore year; she was in my wedding and wore my dress in hers 7 weeks later.

When Steve and I made our way back to college, she and Doug and Steve and I were immediately connected. We shared a VCR, and spent many evenings enjoying Giustiani's pizza and a game of Pictionary or Trivial Pursuit. We dubbed Steve "the nicest man in America" and Doug "the smartest man in America (or was it the universe?)"

And now, though we only lived in the same town for 4 of our 28 years as friends; though we have raised our combined 8 children not knowing each other; though the long-planned meeting in Nashville hasn't happened - yet;

Janet is still the first person I think of when I'm lonely;
I still want to know what her favorite song is;
I still trust her to be true spiritually;
I still admire and respect and adore her.

Janet has moved back to Abilene now. Doug's a professor at ACU. Though it's doubtful Steve and I will live there again, I'd still enjoy a Giustiani's pizza and a game of Pictionary.

I really hope heaven is the reunion party we dream it is!

Janet, forgive me for becoming a blogger - I know! I was horrified, too! But we could keep in touch better this way, and maybe, just maybe, we'll still have that Nashville vacation!

Tidbits

2008-09-14T12:12:00.001-07:00

Well, it was the first full week of school for Hope and Paden. We're settling into a routine pretty nicely.

Paden has made some good strides this year as a sophomore.

1. He's taking regular P.E., which I had reservations about - but he pushed for it and is loving running and lifting weights!

2. He initiated a reconciliation with a boy who bullied him last year. Paden apologized for his own less-than-perfect behavior, forgave the other boy, and asked him if he wanted to be friends.

3. He took the initiative and asked if he could be an aide in the Life Skills class instead of having a free period.

Hope is busy working on her senior project, an international night that will be a fundraiser for some worldwide charity - she's looking at Doctors Without Borders right now. She has only a half day at the high school. On the 21st she starts the Running Start program at our local community college and her plate will be very full from then on.

Hope is taking the SAT again next month, trying to improve on her already-amazing score. She is ready to begin applying to colleges now. So far, we're looking at schools in the Seattle area alone - although there is a school in Boston that sounds really interesting . . .

Christye is reveling in her time at Oxford. We have chatted on Skype, emailed, and talked on the phone once. She's made great friends already, and is experiencing some awe-inspiring field trips. Check out her blog - www.christyelaurel.blogspot.com - for more!

Steve is finishing up an extensive remodel of a house. It looks terrific! He hopes to have it on the market by the end of the month and then look for project number two for his new company. He's working very long hours, so we look forward to a little break soon!

I changed positions (and offices) at work this week. It was a very quick transition - I found out on Wednesday and by Thursday was settled into the new place. This is my 10th office in less than 3 years of working at Living Hope!! God must be teaching me something, because really - I hate change! I'm excited for my new position, though - I am assisting executive pastor Rick Bosch, a man I respect. His heart is in connecting people, and I am wired the same way. I pray I can really help him accomplish all he needs to.

So now, Sunday afternoon, I am going to read the paper, watch some football, eat grilled chicken and corn on the cob, and prepare for another, most certainly eventful, week.

I hope you are enjoying a brief time of rest yourself today. I love hearing from you - it's great to be connected again!

The Faith of Barack Obama

2008-09-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

I recently read The Faith of Barack Obama by Stephen Mansfield.

This election is the most interesting one of my voting lifetime; and I always care about the candidates from a spiritual perspective.

Mansfield's book was an easy read. He gave an overview of Obama’s confusing, certainly not average, childhood.

At times I felt Mansfield treated Obama in a bit of a "precious" way, most evidently when he described the service at Trinity Church. Being a white, conservative Christian, I've never experienced anything like it. This was the most disturbing segment of the book, knowing Obama had a deep association with this way of thinking for 2 decades.

Though Mansfield wrote more objectively than I expected, a lot of his information came from Obama's own works. This causes me to treat the book more as one of spin and positioning than biographical.

In my favorite chapter Mansfield compared the faith history of Bush, Obama, Clinton, and McCain. I was encouraged to see that all of them have a faith - diverse, deeply personal, but there all the same.

I don't know what our country's future holds. I do look forward to learning more about both candidates in the coming weeks.

Sigh

2008-09-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

Christye is, as I write these words, on her way to Oxford. Yes, the one in England. She is going for a quarter of scholarly pursuit, travel, and culture-soaking.

The last two days have been eventful. Many trips to Target; lots of note-writing - she always leaves the most wonderful letters when she goes away - and much packing and re-packing. The two 50-pound suitcase limit almost killed her! We shuffled, re-shuffled, pared down, weighed, redistributed . . . and still had to shift 3.5 pounds of stuff from one bag to the other when we got to the airport! She was mildly horrified at how much she "needs" with her - but kept repeating, as if a mantra, "it's for three months, it's for three months . . ."

Finally, the moment came. She cheerfully whipped out her passport and walked away.

Christye has always been running toward life. Since she was 9 months and 1 week old and walked across the room, I knew that this child would be an adventurer, an explorer, a grab-life-with-both-hands gal. It's a joy to watch, though my heart aches just a little right now.

So my computer is flashing a countdown to her return - 102 days, 10 hours, 16 minutes . . . In the meantime, we'll blog, email, text, call, and Skype - embracing all the technology available to us to communicate with each other. Maybe we'll even write real letters and send them across the miles, reading and re-reading them until they're worn.

You go, Christye! I love you!!!

It's a Strange Life

2008-08-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

Today Hope heads to orientation for her senior year of high school.

Tomorrow Paden does the same for his sophomore year.

Thursday Hope and I leave for Faith Quest - our annual youth conference at Camp Yamhill in Yamhill, Oregon. 400 teens and adults from all around the Northwest, including Canada, will be there from Friday to Monday. I have been privileged to serve as housing coordinator for this event for several years. This year's theme: Superhero, the Power Within (about the Holy Spirit). We will come home exhausted but also refreshed.

This marks the end of our summer. The 2nd strange one in a row. Last summer Steve was completing 6 1/2 months working and living in North Carolina and got home hours before we left for Faith Quest. This year, Steve is working LONG hours at his new business after 10 years with the same company; I am working full-time for the first time since 1986. And did I say that my tomatoes never got ripe? Strange weather.

I am so looking forward to fall, my favorite time of year. At the same time, it's going to be a strange one (when did strange become our new normal?). Christye will be studying at Oxford and will be gone until almost Christmas.

So because our life is strange, seemingly all the time -

I am determined to not hurry or wish away any day we receive. It will be tempting to rush through the rest of the year, thinking next year will be different, not as strange.

I will relish each moment and what it brings. A beautiful sunset, a hug, a good cup of coffee. I won't yearn for bigger things or focus on my "to do" list so much that I miss the journey.

I will be grateful - that we have jobs, that our kids are growing up well, that no one dies if the house isn't immaculate.

Are things strange in your life? I'd sure love to hear about it - and won't it be nice and normal to share our lives together?

Eventful Day

2008-08-22T16:06:00.000-07:00

Today was a strange one.

Paden woke up at 4:30 this morning and has been WOUND UP all day - pacing, lots of tics, very restless. I decided to work at home and try to avert a meltdown.

A co-worker couple had their first baby today - welcome to the world, Jonah Wright!

A very dear friend in Florida is hunkered down with her hubby and two boys, waiting for Hurricane Fay to hit. They are deployed there from the wonderfully hurricane-free Northwest for a year, so this is unknown territory for them. 87 days, Adrienne!

In the next 13 days -
Hope and I will go to Faith Quest, our annual Labor Day weekend youth conference. She is a "quester;" I am housing coordinator. I can't wait for the refreshment!

Hope and Paden will start school on September 3; and

Christye will board a plane to spend 14 weeks at Oxford on September 4. Can't even go there emotionally right now.

This summer has been packed, but not with picnics, BBQs, hikes, vacations, trips to the beach. More like angst, stress, tough job situations, autism . . . I need a long drive in the Columbia River Gorge, brunch on a patio somewhere, a nap in the sun.

Our weather has been strange, too - my tomatoes have never ripened! We went from June-uary straight through to Aug-tober, with one blistering heat wave in between.

Random thoughts, I know. I'll leave you with this tidbit:

Today Paden kept ending phrases with, "x.d." Like, "That was totally x.d."

Hope and I queried him as to the meaning of this new phrase. Being the Aspergers kid he is, he said "I don't know what it means, but I know when to use it." After cautioning him strongly on saying things he doesn't know the meaning of, he persisted.

Hope finally asked, "Is it x period d period?" "No," he replied, "it's capital x, capital d."

After a moment of thought, Hope said, "Paden, you've seen it written down, haven't you?" "Yes." "Paden, that's an emoticon. XD. Like someone making this face (demonstrates). It's not a word, buddy."

The laugh that ensued then; the laugh when I called Christye and heard her reaction; and the anticipation of the laugh that's coming when Steve hears the report must be worth a least a picnic or two, right?

5 Days

2008-08-16T10:49:00.001-07:00

It's been 5 days since my last post - ugh! It's hard to think of something worth saying every day, isn't it?

Amazing how many words we use that really AREN'T worth saying:

1. "It's ____ (hot, cold, rainy, etc.).
2. "I'm tired."
3. "You're a ____ (use your imagination - my favorite is "fart-tart").
4. "I wish I had . . ."
5. "Who (left the door open, forgot to feed the cat, made this mess . . .)?"
6. "You always (or never) _____."

Steve is a man of few words. I admit that this is frustrating to me, because I process EVERYTHING verbally!

But there are times when I've seen the wisdom of Steve's ways.

Once we were on a road trip and he was answering work calls, one after the other. I saw him take a call with some upsetting news, and - rather than instantly phone whoever was responsible for the mess and chew them out - just hold the cell phone to his chin and . . . pause, think, formulate the words he would use. He then called and was calm but firm, his words well-chosen. I could learn a lot from that.

There ARE times when talk is needed. Like telling your kids about the birds and the bees. Or speaking encouragement to a co-worker. Or saying "I love you" - earnestly and often - to those who are special to you.

What words will you speak today that are meaningful? I'd love to hear them from you.

Until then, It's hot; I'm tired; I wish I had used sunscreen as a teen; God is good; I love you!

OLYMPICS!

2008-08-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

I LOVE the Olympics! I'm not a rabid sports fan the rest of the year, though I have been known to weep watching figure skating. But there is something about the enormous scope of the spectacle that is the Olympics that gets to me.

I admit I have found myself tearing up as Michael Phelps receives yet another gold medal; something about our National anthem makes me proud and emotional. And I have gotten a big kick out of watching our President cheer our team on.

So for the next few days - at least through the gymnastics and swimming events - I will be glued to the TV, staying up way too late, crying unabashedly.

Tell me:

What are your favorite Olympic events?
Who has inspired you - past or present?
Opening ceremonies - love it, or fall asleep halfway through the parade of nations?
Do you just skip the thing entirely?

To me, figure skating is THE thing at the winter games! In the summer, I've always loved diving - especially during the Greg Louganis dynasty. Brian Boitano and Michelle Kwan are my favorites in the winter sport. I'll never forget Dorothy Hamill - maybe because I've had some version of her haircut most of my adult life. :)

I would love to share this with my friends. Until then, Bob Costas is calling . . .

8-8-08

2008-08-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

Today is a "magical" day - those lovely like numbers all lined up. I imagine the wedding industry is glowing - I know of several couples taking advantage of this beautiful date to tie the knot.

For our family, today is special for two reasons, one smallish, one enormous.

1. The Olympics opening ceremonies are held tonight.

We have a family tradition of watching them together while eating food native to the host country. We have feasted on my Greek Chicken Salad and "world-famous" Spaghetti, and Steve's take on Alice Springs Chicken, the dish he always orders when we go to Outback.

Tonight, alas, it will be takeout Chinese. This is the first Olympics that I have had a full-time job, and while I would LOVE to be making from-scratch egg rolls and Kung Pao Chicken, my schedule (and probably, my culinary talents) prevent it.

2. Christye became a Christ-follower on 8-8-99.

Here she is, ready to be baptized at our church in Federal Way.

Even now, when I see this picture, I feel that tightness in my chest from trying not to sob! What a joyous day!

We have watched her mature in so many ways - but her growth in faith has been a delight to see. Her faith is thoughtful, contemplative; she enjoys an intellectual pursuit of the Father, and thinking deep and profound thoughts about the mystery that is Jesus. She has been able to find her own faith, not ours. And through the last several years, has distilled the entire wonderful thing down to simplicity itself: love.

Happy birthday, Christye. Today you're 9 - nearing spiritual adolescence, if you will. I will spend time today, before the Chinese food and the TV festivities, thanking God for you and for Him - and for Him in you.

Results Not Typical

2008-08-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate those weight-loss ads that show people turning from blubber to buff in oh so few weeks? With little effort, no change in eating habits, and no exercise?

Then there's the fine print at the bottom of the ad: results not typical.

I wish they'd show typical results. I want to be comforted by the woman who maybe got a little more breathing room in her jeans; a tiny bit less flap in the upper arms; perhaps her muffin top is a mini muffin now?

I've been working out faithfully, and embracing new eating habits, for 10 months. And my results are . . . well, typical.

God, you're preparing a bodacious heavenly body for me, right? After all, you are the Author of results not typical!

Joy

2008-08-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

I read a definition of joy today:

A delight in life that runs deeper than pain or pleasure.

I have been pondering the meaning of this all morning.

I am not a sunny, cheerful person by nature. Whether by wiring, upbringing, or brain chemistry - or a combination of all three - I'm definitely more a "glass half empty" person. Contentment eludes me; anxiety is my faithful companion. I work hard to produce, serve, measure up.

How do I reconcile this with my faith in a loving, lavish God? How can I have everything I ever wanted - a happy marriage, amazing children - and still be more on the gloomy end of the spectrum?

I have no answers for that; but I do love the above definition of joy. Can I be joyful still? Is there a delight in life in me that runs deeper than depression, disappointment, or feelings of inadequacy?

There are, of course, moments. Some big highs - hallmarks in my children's lives; times of worship that strike the deepest chord in my soul.

There are also lots of little moments- the "mediums," if you will: a great song on my iPod; clean sheets; a drive in the country; a great meal or new book; laughter with friends.

Is that joy? Can I revel in those moments when they come, and not feel guilty that my house is not clean enough; my problems are not all solved; my waistline is not the "right" size?

I believe I can! And the older I get, the more I realize how precious those brief interludes are - and I am going to grab them with both hands and hold tight and breathe them in.

The housework will be there; my problems will either be solved or forgotten; my waist . . . well, it is what it is, right?

"Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives"

Psalm 90:14 (New Living Translation)

Hope

2008-07-31T17:57:00.000-07:00

Things I love about Hope:

That smile!

Her laughter - if I could bottle and sell it, the whole world would be happier!

How she is so grateful for everything she has.

Her crazy smarts, and humility about them.

Her heart for service; her love for God.

Things Hope loves - Jesus; her sister; music; movies; books; her car; hanging out with friends; math; jewelry; taking pictures; travel; her boobs (being the only Estes female who has any!); texting; Starbucks; her cat, Jack.

Facts about Hope:

She has a double earlobe, so instead of traditional ear piercing, she has a nose ring!

She collects shot glasses

Strawberry Jello is her favorite food

She loves learning about other peoples and religions

She is (almost) always in a good mood; loves being independent, yet is very attached to her family. She is generous, a loyal friend, sassy, opinionated, and forgiving.

Being Hope's mom is one of life's greatest joys. I am so privileged to call her my daughter and my friend!

Pray

2008-07-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you're stuck in your prayer life? I'm finding it hard to focus my prayers lately.

Those polite, churchy, say-what-you-think-you-should-say prayers aren't flowing. I'm not even able to muster the "scream in the shower" times these days. I feel anxious, distracted, distant.

I'm blocked!

Advice, anyone?

I find comfort in this passage:

"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will."

Romans 8:26, 27 (New Living Translation)

Random thoughts on the kids

2008-07-25T16:49:00.000-07:00

Today, Paden went to work with Steve, to "help" him with the remodel project he's working on. I'm so happy Steve got to experience working with Paden. Funny thing about P - he's man-sized, with huge feet and whiskers; but he's a little child inside. Kind of like having a toddler . . . forever. Steve doesn't deal with his assorted tics, restlessness, and chattering much. He's exhausted.

Hope went to a midnight movie last night; is headed to a concert in Portland followed by a midnight book release next Friday night, then a weekend in Seattle with her sister after that. She's so independent she sometimes "forgets" to ask if she can do things, and just announces her schedule. Funny that I don't mind. She's also applying to counsel at a camp for disabled children, and is the favorite nanny of the neighborhood, and an all-around responsible young woman.

Christye leaves in about 6 weeks for a quarter at Oxford. This will be the longest we've ever gone without seeing her - about 14 weeks. She will turn 21 in England, maybe at a pub somewhere . . .She has not come home for the summer since her freshman year. Now she lives in a house with her friends and nannies for a 7-year-old Aspergers boy. She's learning some tough realities about autism, but it opens up new avenues of communication for us every day. She is already thinking ahead to graduate school (somewhere warm, maybe); post-college service abroad; travel.

Funny. Having children. What a cliche, but it goes by in a blink. And while I don't long for the baby days much, I do feel a bit wistful at times. They have been an absolute, total joy from birth - I am grateful that I get to stand by and be part of these amazing people's lives. I've learned so much, and they expose me to new wonders all the time. Maybe that's why God deemed it good for us to have one who may never leave?

The older the girls get, the more I find it easy to release them. I trust them and their character, and believe they should be free. And even though after Hope leaves, I will FINALLY be the princess of the family - even the cats are boys - I still thrill at the times we're all together. Something about daughters . . .

Christmas in July

2008-07-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is lazy and a tiny bit cheesy . . . but,

Here is the Christmas (actually, New Year's) newsletter that was never sent. I'm pressed for time today - meeting after meeting all day - so this is the quickest, most efficient way to get everyone up to date (at least as of 7 months ago). Feel free to skim or skip - I'll write something more current next - promise.

Happy New Year 2008

The tree is gone; the lights are down; the gifts are being used – or have been returned. Now, finally, I’m able to sit down and write a letter to a few dear friends. It’s horribly late, but sent with love and gratitude for your friendship through the years.

Truth be told, 2007 was a difficult year for us. We were very happy to put it behind us and look forward, so maybe that’s why I waited to write.

Steve worked in North Carolina from mid-February until the end of August, opening a new branch for his company. Being apart was by far the hardest thing we’ve ever done. When he finished that assignment, he reassessed his priorities and goals, and resigned his job. He is now pursuing a different kind of career.

I stayed home and did my best to hold down the fort; cried in the shower – a lot; took on some home improvement projects; wrote a lot of emails; and counted the hours to our next visit.

Not our best year. But with end-of-the-year perspective, I can see the blessings that God sent; He is so good to remind us that He is always with us, no matter what.

I am grateful for:

Email and cell phones – and airplanes
A landscaper who sent a crew to my house every Wednesday – for 6 months – to mow my lawn
Helpful neighbors
The companionship of my children
My life group ladies
And so much more . . .

So, here’s to new beginnings! And here are a few highlights from 2007:

Steve and I decided to get healthy. This involves a lot of Icy Hot, Tylenol, and more salad than anyone ought to eat! He is in the pool at 4:30 every morning (ugh!) and I hit the road or the elliptical somewhat later. We feel good, and I have to say he looks better than ever!

I began serving as Care Coordinator at Living Hope Church in August. I work with a wonderful group of volunteers to provide meals, prayers, cancer support, and other services to our church family. It’s a privilege to see how this blesses both those receiving and the givers!

While Steve was gone, I learned that I can
1) Kill things (like the yellow jacket that wandered into our laundry room);
2) Buy (two) and sell (one) cars; and
3) Go a record number of days without cooking a real dinner.

Christye spent more time away from home than ever this year. She went to India with friends for Spring Break, where she fulfilled a dream of practicing yoga on a rooftop in the morning sun. She spent the summer in Seattle serving an internship writing product descriptions for an online sports gear company (See, you can make a living with a Creative Writing degree!). In her third year at Seattle Pacific, she lives in a house with her 5 best friends, working as a writing tutor, student mentor, admissions intern, and sometime-nanny. She even occasionally goes to class! She also sings at her church, including her first-ever solo for their Christmas service, which we all had the pleasure of attending. One of her big accomplishments was running a half-marathon in Seattle in November. She is a ray of light and laughter in our lives!

Hope is a junior in high school, and the highlight of her year was getting her driver’s license and a car. She continues to do well academically, and is proud to say that she “kicked the PSAT’s butt,” scoring slightly higher than her big sister did. She definitely has a busier social life than the rest of us combined, and is always on the go. She spent Spring Break in Arizona with my parents, who took her to the Grand Canyon - a huge thrill. She spent a week in Mexico this summer helping build a school, and teaches toddlers at a small church on Sundays. She is very busy with band activities, playing marimba and clarinet. Her marching band took 1st in state in their class. She plays in the pep band during basketball season, so Steve gets to go to all the games. She is a sweet and gentle calm in our lives – with a bit of sass!

Paden was blessed with the best teacher ever in 8th grade, so he was well prepared to start high school this year. He loves school, gets to be a teaching assistant in the life skills classroom, and is growing – physically and emotionally – every day. He’s nearly as tall as Steve and they wear the same size shoes. He is a boy-man! Autism is a battle, but his doctors encourage us that the teen years are the hardest and things will settle considerably in a few years. Whew! He has tons of friends and runs back and forth to their homes daily. He plays Guitar Hero, so suddenly he’s into Van Halen and other rockers. He is an endless surprise and joy in our lives!

After all the stress and separation and struggle, Christmas was our time to revel in being together. Steve took the month of December off, and we realized that this was the first time we’ve ever been together for more than a week with no school, no work, and no place to go. So we played games, went for walks, snuggled on the couch, watched movies, and mostly just breathed in that sweet spirit of family. May we never take our time for granted again!

You are special to us, and we pray that you will have a blessed 2008!

Steve, Marlette, Christye, Hope, and Paden Estes

Here Goes Nothing!

2008-07-22T12:13:00.001-07:00

This is my first-ever blog post! I have resisted doing this for years, but am now inspired by my dear friend Christye. What a great way to catch up and keep up with each other!

I guess I have always thought of blogging as self-indulgent. Who cares what I think about anything? But lately I have been really missing my old friends. I want to know what's going on in your lives - not only the big "Christmas newsletter" events; I want to get inside your day-to-day world and experience the details:

What do you eat for breakfast?
What is your favorite song right now?
What scripture is speaking into your life?
What are your dreams?

So, I promise to try to post regularly; to be honest; and to read your blogs faithfully. I look forward to getting better acquainted with you!

Next post:

What's up with the Estes family?